The middle finger is a very important part of a human’s hand. Sure, the thumb is the only thing separating us humans from the animals, thus preventing us from reverting back to our face-eating, animalistic tendencies, but we need those middle fingers to wordlessly express our displeasure or veiled pleasure with our fellow man. The middle finger can be used to say ‘fuck you’, ‘good joke, but also fuck you’, ‘I’m jokingly saying fuck you’ or ‘I actually want to fuck you but don’t want you to know it, so I’m going to play mind games by saying fuck you’. That’s a lot of phrases/attitudes that ultimately would disappear if you lost that finger. Why do you think it’s in the middle of your hand? Two finger buffer zone on either side.
So my T’s and P’s go out to this kid who got his middle finger ripped off when he climbed a fence and then was forced to climb back up the fence to retrieve it.
A teenager ripped his finger off climbing over a spiked school fence and had to scale it again to grab his impaled digit. Despite the trauma brave Lorne Pepper, 16, has carried on with his GCSE exams , although he admits it’s “a challenge” to stay focused. The lad lost his right middle finger when he was rushing out of Moulsham High School , in Chelmsford, Essex, with his girlfriend Olivia Johnson after an English exam. The couple clambered over a metal boundary – but as as she hopped over her skirt became snared. Loved-up Lorne clambered up to help her, but a ring got caught on one of the spikes and as he jumped off his finger was brutally torn away.
Incredibly despite the agony his first thought was to protect his expensive watch from the gushing blood. He claims the main gate of the school was locked and he was forced to climb the fence – however the school refute his claim and say they don’t understand why he scaled the metal boundary.
Lorne said: “When Olivia was going over, her skirt got caught on the spikes at the top. She was stuck so I climbed up to help her, and my ring got caught on the spikes and took my finger off. The first thing I did was take my watch off and put it away so it didn’t get blood on it. My finger was stuck at the top of the fence, so I had to climb back up the fence to get it because I knew it would need it to get it reattached. People were coming out of the junior school nearby and I asked them for some ice to put it in. All the time I was holding my arm up in the air because the blood would have gone everywhere. My girlfriend was panicking enough for both of us. She was screaming so I knew I had to keep calm.”
Olivia, 16, who has been with Lorne for nine months, said: “I saw it all happen and when I looked up, the finger was just there at the top of the fence. I started screaming and crying; that was just my initial reaction. In the ambulance, Lorne was absolutely fine. He was on gas and air giggling away, while I was panicking. I passed out in the ambulance, but he was being really brave.””
This is why you shouldn’t get seriously involved with women until your life is already going downhill. If you’re already losing a bunch of shit, you may as well get laid while doing it. But when you’re still riding high in life, a woman is just going to weigh you down like an anvil on a carrier pigeon. This guy had an entire life of flipping people the bird ahead of him and now that’s all going to be marred by scar tissue and horrible memories because his girlfriend of 9 months got her skirt caught and couldn’t undo it herself. I mean, I’d argue he even saw it coming. He was not even remotely shocked by the fact that his finger got removed and just casually went back up and retrieved it. Very “Oh yeah, saw this coming hahahaha!!” Sure, he got it back, but he’ll never be able to to use it properly again. “Sick middle-finger, kid. You want one of mine?” *cue using both hands to flip him off*.