Kids Forced To Eat Cookies Topped With Their Teacher’s Semen Recieve $139 Million Settlement


How much money would you want to eat a cookie frosted with the semen of this dude?


That’s a pretty grossing-looking old dude. But, I would do it for probably somewhere in the neighborhood of $75,000. As long as he was tested and it was certain I wouldn’t get any diseases, I might go as low as $30,000. That’s some scratch for a sprinkle of splooge.

Unfortunately, female third-graders in the Los Angeles Unified School District weren’t given the option of choosing whether they would ingest teacher Mark Berndt’s semen, for he tricked them into eating cookies with his jizz on top.

This story is fucking terrible. From the Huffington Post, who reported on it back in November of 2013, when Berndt was sentenced to 25 years in jail.

Prosecutors have said in Berndt’s “tasting games” he fed students his semen on cookies and by spoon, sometimes blindfolding and photographing them.

Before the sentencing, a parade of sobbing mothers denounced Berndt, saying he had ruined their lives and the lives of their daughters.

The allegations against him came to light when a drugstore photo technician noticed dozens of odd photos of blindfolded third-graders and reported them to authorities. Investigators said they discovered a plastic spoon in Berndt’s classroom trash bin. Tests found traces of semen on it.

Fuck, man. That’s fucking horrible. I wish I hadn’t joked about it earlier. Alas, the school district is paying out $139 million to the families of students who were subjected to his criminal behavior.

It might be one of the biggest payouts ever for a school district, which, while the district isn’t wholly responsible for this one dude’s behavior, each of those kids deserves a billion dollars.

That’ll help, but man, what the fuck? People are perverts. Third graders.

[H/T Bossip]