Is Nothing Sacred? Kraft Mac & Cheese Won’t Be Radioactive Orange Anymore

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I have news for you.

If your parents served you Kraft Mac & Cheese growing up, then they didn’t love you. A parent who was truly concerned with their offspring’s well-being wouldn’t knowingly allow such an unnatural color to enter a kid’s digestive system. One need not be a doctor to know such a hue is not organic.

Hell, a parent can be jailed in certain affluent parts of Brooklyn for even joking about serving such swill to their free-range future world leaders.

But you know what? If you were like me (poor, impressionable and hungry) then you ate the cheap fare with great gusto. If dad had a good week at the racetrack there might even be the added bonus of chopped up hot dogs floating around in the lunch staple.

Christ. I thought ORANGE was the flavor.

Great times.

Times the next generation of eaters will ever know.

Kraft has announced it’s GASP changing the color of the “pasta.”

Kraft announced Monday that as of January 2016 its original macaroni and cheese sold in the United States will no longer contain synthetic colors or artificial preservatives. So instead of using dyes to get the iconic shade of orange, Kraft will use colors from sources such as paprika, annatto and turmeric.

“We’ve met with families in their homes and watched them prepare Kraft Mac & Cheese in their kitchens,” Triona Schmelter, vice president of marketing, meals, is quoted as saying in a press release issued by Kraft on Monday. “They told us they want to feel good about the foods they eat and serve their families, including everything from improved nutrition to simpler ingredients.”

But “the one thing they are most adamant about,” Schmelter told the Chicago Tribune, which first reported the news Friday, is “they absolutely don’t want us to change the taste.”

Bull. The synthetic color is the fun part. Without that needed distraction, kids are going to realize their parents are failures.

How does no one at BIG KRAFT not realize this?

Way to crap on nostalgia.

I’m mortified as both a traditionalist and a new parent. I was really, really looking forward to whipping up the lazy dad meal and having my little guy think I was awesome because it looked like a construction worker’s safety vest.

Now I’ll have to feed him kale or brown rice or some other lame option.

RIP fun.

It was a great run.

 [H/T: Newsweek]

[Image of wonderful mac & cheese on Shutterstock]

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