No One At Any Office Holiday Party In History Has Put On A More Electric Dancing Performance Than This Middle-Aged Lady
GET IT KAREN!! Just as you should never judge a porn by its thumbnail, you should never judge Karen from HR because she eats fish sticks for lunch three times a week and won’t shut the fuck up about her pet ferret. You and I may go out and get cock-eyed drunk three to six times a week, but the company holiday party is Karen’s Super Bowl. There’s nothing that’s going to stop Karen from getting hype on the dance floor to top 40 beats and trying to get a palm full of Bill from Accounting’s dick because he is going to a bitter divorce and his prospects are slim because he has a unibrow and halitosis. On Monday, Karen will be back to stinking up the kitchen with her putrid microwavable lunch and saying stale cultural buzz words like “lunch goals!” But no matter how insufferable she is the other 364 days of the year, you have to keep her on the roster for the one day a year she puts on this second-to-none performance.
P.S. Would you? Me too. I mean me either. I mean. Bye.