Man Arrested At McDonald’s, Claims Happy Meals Are ‘Racist’, And We Need To Find Out If He’s Right

DES MOINES, Iowa — Des Moines police have arrested a man who caused a scene Tuesday at a metro McDonald’s when he claimed the restaurant was racist because Happy Meal toys did not have dark skin.

Thirty-four-year-old Lance Williams Sr. is charged with assault and disorderly conduct. Police say he went into the restaurant, in the 1300 block of East Euclid Tuesday afternoon, first asking about the price of water.

A friend of Williams then bought a sandwich and walked out, then came back in complaining that there was a bite taken out of the sandwich. The manager said he overheard a child who was upset that his sandwich had been taken back inside admit to taking a bite.

Williams demanded money back for the sandwich on behalf of his friend, which the manager returned — hoping he would leave.

Williams remained in the restaurant then started to claim McDonald’s was a racist restaurant because Happy Meal toys did not have dark skin. Police say the suspect starting slinging racial slurs at workers and claimed he would jump over the counter and fight them.

Williams has since been released from the Polk County Jail.


Looks like I’m going to have to dispose of my collection of Happy Meal toys that are completely normal to collect as a 27 year old man.

Now that I think of it, those fuckers were particularly standoffish when my black friends came by the house. Didn’t say a word, as a matter of fact. Even when I gave them an ultimatum and said “continue being a plastic toy if you’re a fucking racist”, and they just continued to sit there on my shelf being all smug and entitled and racist and shit.

When I asked them if they were interested in protesting the Ferguson shooting, I could have sworn that Mr. Potato Head prick rolled his eyes. Dude, aren’t you like half-black?

I feel obliged to do my part in reaching for equality by exposing the ones perpetrating it. Take a good long look at these pieces of shit.

White, fat and stupid. This fucker simply doesn’t know any better.

Where does this intolerant asshole get off hating black people, he is literally every other color.

It’s most sad when you see racism being passed down through generations.

But ultimately, there is one one person responsible for breeding this generation of ignorant, racist plastic toys…

I can’t even fucking look at you, Ronald.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.