The Man Who Lost His Virginity With A $100,000 Bionic Boner Is Starting To Get Greedy With His Latest Request
You may remember our boy Mohammad Abad aka Mo aka Bionic Boner Bro who lost his penis at the tender age of 6 from a tragic automobile accident. 38 years later, after innovative research deemed him eligible for a fully functioning bionic penis, the 44-year-old lost his virginity to a sex worker named Charlotte Rose.
After taking her to Pound Town, Mo claimed that Charlotte was more than impressed with her sexual experience:
“When Charlotte saw it for the first time, she was silent and I was a bit worried. But then she said: ‘It’s incredible.'”
Mo’s flame with Charlotte dissipated soon thereafter and was left with a $100,000 toy no woman wanted to play with.
He recently told Mirror:
“I’m very lonely and would love to find someone.
I’ve joined Match.com and an Asian dating site and I’ve even tried Tinder.
But so far I’ve had no feedback. Not one date. I’d be eternally grateful if someone helped me find love.
I’ve got a lot to give. The ultimate goal is to have two kids but I need to find somebody first.”
Mo. Listen up. Welcome to reality buddy. I’m 28 years old and and have swiped through every girl on every dating site available in the app store and haven’t even sniffed love. Do you think I enjoy all these vapid, short-lived hookups? Ok, ya they’re a hell of a time. But I would love a girl who sticks around for breakfast and tells me she likes my outfit and buys me shit on my birthday. Maybe one who I can bring home so my dad doesn’t think I’m a homosexual. Ideally one who views my moderate drinking problem as endearing. We all want that romantic comedy love, Mo. You don’t get to skip the line because your dick is made of titanium. Rosa Parks your ass to the back, bruh.