Smuggling cocaine up the rectum? Sure, we’ve heard that story before. Mr. Garrison’s sex slave losing Lemmiwinks the Gerbil King up his butt? Well, it happened on South Park so I’m lead to believe that sort of thing happens on the regular at emergency rooms all across the nation. This story though, it just sounds oddly painful…Like, why not just declare the items instead of shoving them up your ass and smuggling them into the country? It’s not like this stuff is illegal, and I can’t imagine it’d be very comfortable shoved up your chocolate starfish.
Officers at Bandaranaike international airport had noticed he was walking suspiciously, a spokesman said. Gold weighing 400g (14oz), worth about 2m Sri Lankan rupees (£9,400), was found hidden inside the suspect’s rectal cavity, a customs spokesman told the BBC.
The 42-year-old suspect claimed in custody that he worked for a Sri Lankan government ministry, according to news website the Nation.
The latest apparent smuggling attempt follows a series of other incidents this year where people have concealed gold in their bodies. Officials said more than 70 people have been arrested this year for smuggling gold in Sri Lanka.
Smugglers typically buy gold from places where the precious metal is relatively cheap and where there are fewer trade restrictions, such as Dubai and Singapore, aiming to sell it on in India – the largest gold consumer in the world. The import duty for gold in India is high: currently 10% for a 100g bar.
I cannot say this any more clearly: PAY YOUR GODDAMN TAXES AND YOU WON’T FIND YOURSELF SHOVING BARS OF GOLD UP YOUR ASS.
Instead of forking over the 10% tax on gold, which this dude traveled abroad to intentionally circumvent, he’s now found himself in trouble with the authorities AND HE HAS 400 GRAMS OF SOLID GOLD INSIDE HIS ASS. How is shoving 400g of solid gold up you ass preferable to paying your taxes?!? Taxes suck, nobody likes paying them, but paying your taxes is still a fuck ton better than shoving jagged gold bars up your butthole.