The Man Known As CoolSexGuy420Boner Did NOT Attend Homecoming with Kate Upton

by 5 years ago


Our nation’s institutions have betrayed us. Instagram is worth more than the New York Times. Governmental agencies spy on our computers. And “CoolSexGuy420Boner” lied about going to homecoming with Kate Upton.

What is there to believe any more?

Yesterday we called attention to a fascinating Reddit thread originated by the perfectly named “CoolSexGuy420Boner.” He had shared a high school photo—seen above; he claimed he was the guy who rocked the dope retainer—and he shared stories about his time dating a 9th-grade Kate Upton, whom he took to Homecoming.

We met early in highschool at volleyball practice and through some mutual friends. We “talked” for a little while and started dating a few weeks after that. No I never “banged” her, I was like 16 years old and her family was really religious and it never really got that far. She was a really cool girl but I broke up with her because her family made it impossible for me to get close with her and it was hard on both of us to get a real connection.

I had no idea she would become an internationally published model one day, but that doesn’t really affect the way I feel about her.

In hindsight, we, and the rest of the Internet, probably should have been a bit less credulous because shockingly, CoolSexGuy420Boner turned out to not be the most reliable narrator.

The man with a name I need just the thinnest excuse to write—CoolSexGuy420Boner—announced on Reddit today that he lied about the whole story, stealing the image and making up a tale of dating Ms. Upton. The chain of events actually began when the real person in the photo took to our Facebook page to deny the whole story. He’s since deleted his comments, but a thoughtful Imgur user shared it for posterity:


And CoolSexGuy420Boner was confronted with the evidence and came clean. Dick.

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These things happen, a lot, on the Internet nowadays. Among other national media outlets, Buzzfeedthe Daily Dot, and Uproxx picked up the story because even if the evidence was flimsy, the content was just tooooo good—and it’s clear Reddit, for all its positives, still is full of stories of dubious authenticity that should never be taken at face value.

But really: if we can’t trust CoolSexGuy420Boner, who, really, can we trust in this crazy world?

TAGSKate Upton