Because So Many Idiots Think ‘The Martian’ Is Real Someone Started A GoFundMe To Rescue Matt Damon

matt damon mars gofundme


In case you missed it earlier, a whole bunch of really smart people think that the film The Martian starring Matt Damon is based on a true story. Twitter has been flooded with notes of worry and concern that there was some poor astronaut actually stranded on Mars.

Newsflash: it was a fictional story. Just like the story of them finding water on Mars’ surface. Oh wait, that one was true. My bad.

Anyway, because so many people are apparently unaware that there really is no one stuck on the planet Mars one man, nee hero, named Kyle Douglas N. set out to rescue Matt Damon from his perilous situation. And to assist in his endeavor, he set up a GoFundMe page.

One of the greatest actors in Hollywood is currently trapped on Mars after a failed exploration. We need Matt back on earth because he is due to be in another “Bourne” movie. Matt is also a loyal friend to another Hollywood great Ben Affleck who needs Matt Damon’s support as he goes through a divorce. Failing to bring Matt back could be devistating to our American life and will have a devastating impact on film if we don’t rescue Matt.


Bring home Matt, indeed.

Sadly, as of this writing it’s now been 22 hours and not a single donation has been made. Therefore, I unfortunately will be the first to report the bad news: we may never see Matt Damon again. I’m sorry. I really enjoyed him in Good Will Hunting.

H/T The Daily Dot