This Video Of Pharma Douche Martin Shkreli Flirting With Teens Online Is Downright Depressing

“If you want to go to Columbia, I could get you into Columbia.”
“One of my good friends is in Rykers right now. He’s in for attempted murder.”
*pretends to know how to play guitar*
“I got my own girls, don’t worry.”
“I was the most popular kid in high school so..”
“Let me show my internet fans…”

Now, I really don’t have any interest in piling it on this poor bastard. Like my anger morphed into pity. The dude just got arrested for his doucheness, and raking him over the coals is a torch I’m not willing to hold. You know he’s a douche, I know he’s a douche, he knows he’s a douche.

So that leads me to kind of feel bad for the guy. Sure, he’s a raging douchenozzle, but you can tell he’s not like a regular human. As insufferable as he comes off, you can tell he has an insatiable need to be accepted, and his failure at succeeding turns him into the prick he presents to the world. With that said, I have no doubt in my mind he he’s showed his dick on Chat Roulette within the calendar year.

[h/t Gawker]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.