Mary-Kate Olsen Just Married Some Old Dude–Had ‘Bowls Of Cigarettes’ On Each Table For Wedding Guests

Mary-Kate Olsen just married some old dude. Well, not old in life (he’s 46), but I’m so used to seeing Mary-Kate and Ashley chillin in cribs while Danny Tanner tries to keep the house from burning down and Joey enjoys yet another rent-free month under the Tanner roof.

Mary-Kate is now 29-year-old and recently tied the knot with her banker boyfriend boyfriend of three years, Oliver Sarkozy, during a small NYC ceremony. Oliver is the half-brother of former French President Nicholas Sarkozy. He also has two kids from a previous marriage.

According to Page Six, attendees were required to turn in their cell phones before the ceremony and party decor consisted of “bowls and bowls filled with cigarettes, and everyone smoked the whole night.”

How amazing would it have been if she married Saget? The world isn’t perfect.

Oh that’s creepy? And this isn’t? Fug outta here.

At the end of the day, I gotta tip my hat to the guy. Can’t hate on a man for playing out of his league–it’s every man’s dream.

[h/t Page Six]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.