Meet The World’s Oldest And Largest Wombat And Sign My Petition To Replace Cats With Wombats

This is Patrick. He is believed to be the world’s oldest and biggest wombat. He resides at Ballarat Wildlife Park in Victoria, Australia and was hand-raised after being orphaned as a baby. And the worst part of all is that since he’s been raised by humans, he remains a virgin.

CAN SOMEONE INITIATE A KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN TO GET PATRICK A PIECE OF WOMBAT ASS FOR SHIT SAKE.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.