There’s nothing like middle school love. In my opinion, it’s the purest, realest form of love (I’m still not over you, Danielle Hendrickson). When you’re young, neither of you are motivated by sex, money or sex, the only thing you value is the way your hearts flutter as you ignore each other at recess. So simple, yet so fiery.
But many middle school bros are unprepared for the inevitable: if you have a girlfriend in middle school, you’re the shit. The most wanted man. Girls who wouldn’t look in your direction at the beginning of the year, suddenly flock to your cubby like the salmon of Capistrano.
And my boy Payton went fishing. Big time.
His ex, who deems herself ‘Muffin Top,’ penned a scathing handwritten letter to the young buck laying out his dating history which indicates he’s dating every chick in the entire seventh grade.
The weed. CLASSIC Payton.