Today in Millennial Self-Importance: Read My Feels on Brunch

by 4 years ago


Brunch! ZOMG BRUNCH! Brunchies? Duh, all brunch everything.

Those are all things probably said by a gaggle of young women in the past 72 hours. No doubt. That’s because brunch has surpassed everything people in their 20s hold dear. Pray to the Lord on the Sabbath? Not when there’s bourbon whipped cream French Toast to be nommed. Brunch is our current cultural zeitgeist; the zenith and the be all and end all.

Also, did you know you can use technology to help you plan brunch?

Yes, cell phones and the internet have revolutionized brunch, says Sarah Grieco.

It’s Wednesday afternoon, but my mind is already on Sunday brunch.

“Where should we go this weekend?” reads a text from my friend. Saturday’s mimosas haven’t even left my system yet, but I’m already planning my next outing.

Minutes later, links to menus are flying back and forth between my G-chat windows.

“This place has apple wood smoked bacon and cheddar scones.”

“Peanut butter French toast? Yes, please.”

“We must try those apple cider donuts.”

Have you died yet of this person’s self-importance about a middling and uninteresting topic? Soon, you will. Soon.

My friends and I will spend the next few days casually talking about where we want to go, and what we want to eat. Ultimately, we’ll probably spend more time talking about the food than we will eating it.

And it’s not just brunch. Whether my book club is meeting at a cute French café or coworkers want to grab a bite after a long day, menus are being passed around and obsessed over.

FOOD! Yes. Did you know it’s essential to human existence? Critical, top doctors even say. But has this eating thing become a national experience? Or is it centralized in one Northeastern city? The answer may surprise you.

The extensive menu planning doesn’t just happen in New York. Friends from San Francisco to Pittsburgh, Washington D.C. and Denver have admitted to thinking about their meals way in advance.

EVEN DENVER? My hope that Colorado contained the world’s last bastion of spontaneous food consumption has been freakin’ shattered, man. But back to technology. How did people eat before the Google?

Smartphone apps like Ness or Localeur make finding a restaurant easier than a date. My friends and I pore over images of ramen and cupcakes the same way we’d look at a dating profile.

I’d fuck a bowl of soup, too. Don’t need to brag about it. But is soup-fucking a social experience. Everything is social in 2014.

It’s like Tinder for food. But unlike the solitary swiping of a hookup app, this activity can be more social – and easier. Not only can we see photos of the menu choices, but also it’s simple to reserve a table or deliver dishes with the tap of a finger.

Yes, life is so easy these days. Except when it’s hard and sometimes ugh life is so hard.

But sometimes the food planning hits a speed bump when old school eateries don’t have a website or aren’t listed on the apps.

“I can’t go to a restaurant without looking at the menu first,” my best friend once admitted to me.

Fuck. FUCK. No, wait… is there a solution that renders this previous point completely irrelevant? Thanks to technology, YES.

But in those cases, we can turn to Yelp. The reviewing website, which mainly serves the 18 to 35-year-old crowd, allows people to post pictures of menus and see which meal is most popular. It’s brunch intel overload.

Good. Good. I was worried there for a second.

What’s the point of all this? I don’t know. The concluding sentence is that brunch is expensive so it’s nice to have the internet.


[Brunch via Shutterstock]


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