Here’s a great idea, when the Presidential debates begin we should have Hillary Clinton and one of the 133 GOP candidates who will get nominated to prance on stage in a bikini (Something tells me that Donald Trump would gladly saunter about in a two-piece if it meant that he would garner more attention). Imagine how fantastic it would be to have former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee glisten with pork belly sweat as he sashayed down the catwalk? And what a head-turner it would be to have rotund New Jersey Governor Chris Christie flaunt his curves? Oh wait, this would be a fucking terrible idea because these individuals are supposed to debate one another on real issues that are troubling this great nation not mosey around with their moobs jiggling all about. So why do we still have beauty pageant contestants attempt to solve the pressing quandaries of the world, like asking them to remedy the age-old Middle East tensions that have boiled over for the last century?
The 2015 Miss USA pageant was televised on Sunday night, you may not have found it on your tube because it was on the Reelz channel and not NBC because of the Trump controversy. And if you were watching the Miss USA pageant for definitive answers on how to improve race relations and insightful debate on political correctness, you came to the wrong place.
There were amazingly beautiful women from all over the United States competing to be crowned Miss USA. In the end, Olivia Jordan, Miss Oklahoma, took home the hardware and rightfully so after seeing her scintillating Instagram pics. While nearly all of the contestants handled the pressures of the spotlight with grace because of their years of devoted preparation and training, two of the lovely ladies stumbled a bit in the completely unnecessary and disingenuous interview round.
Miss Rhode Island and Miss Nevada make it all the way to the Top 5 of the 2015 Miss USA pageant, but then weren’t so hot when answering the silly questions.
Anea Garcia from Rhode Island was asked the following:
“Recently, comedian Jerry Seinfeld spoke out about political correctness in our culture. Do you think political correctness is hurting or helping this country and why?”
The 20-year-old had a big smile on her face, but you could see that the gears in her head were recklessly spinning. “That’s a very good question,” she said. “I think that it’s a balance of both. We definitely need…I’m sorry, may you please repeat the question once more?” But, but, but seconds earlier you said, “That’s a very good question.” How could you say that it’s a good question when you have no idea what the question is? It’s a question about political correctness, all you had to do was be POLITICALLY CORRECT and say some babble like, “Political correctness is good because sometimes people can get their feelings hurt when other people say things that aren’t politically correct.”
The judge repeated the question. “I think that it’s a balance of both,” Anea repeated after a long pause. “We need the people to remind us, especially politicians, to remind us what to do and when to do wrong.” Thankfully her time was up, saving us from having to hear more nonsensical gibberish.
Brittany McGowan from Nevada proved that she isn’t exactly a reincarnation of Socrates either. She was asked, “What would you do to improve race relations in the U.S.? Please be specific.” And just like Miss Rhode Island, Miss Nevada showed that she is not a master debater.
“What I would do to improve race relations in the U.S. is get more races grouped together and be able to be with each other in a…in a non…let’s see…” she answered and then awkwardly laughed. “I think what we need to do is bring…ahh…We need to be more accepting of each other and we need to bring people together. That’s what I think we need to do.” Someone please get a mop, there’s a puddle of repulsive verbal diarrhea all over the stage.
You don’t see reporters asking Rob Gronkowski, “Hey Gronk, what austerity measures would you implement to end the financial crisis in Greece?” Because he’s a fucking meathead who’s talent is to catch a ball, run real fast and smash defenders. Stop trying to justify beautiful girls stripping down to their bathing suits by having a “serious” interview segment. Just let these beautiful women be beautiful women.