Mom Of The Year Nominee Pranks Her Son On His Eighth Birthday And The Payoff Is Awesome

Edge-of-your-seat entertainment right there. Poor kid was probably thinking back to every wrong move he made since he was in diapers. As an eight-year-old, it could really be anything. A report card, a cooties note he passed that pissed off a snitch’s parents, the rat tail he snipped off the playground bully, crystal meth, etc. Point is, if someone of authority perceives you to be guilty, you start believing it. Like I’ve never put my backpack on the conveyor belt at an airport and not questioned the whereabouts on that joint I put in its front pocket in 2008. I almost pick up and start running the other direction but realize that I’d probably be stun gunned and put on the terrorist watch list. But to have the feeling of not being a terrorist and getting hooked up with a brand new iPhone simultaneously, that must be a feeling of euphoria. Big props to mom for giving that kid something he’ll never forget. Jk, he’ll forget it in a cab. Like the rest of us. Enjoy it while you can, bro.


When bae say she’s cool with you having a guys night.

When bae show you the 2 am “You up?” text your sent to the side piece during guys night and you pretend you illiterate.

When the doctor asks you if you binge drink or do drugs.

When the doctor steps out for a moment.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.