A Pack Of Murder Monkeys Is On The Loose In India, Have Killed Three People
A group of monkeys is currently terrorizing the Indian countryside, reigning death upon all humans they encounter.
The monkey apocalypse is upon us folks. Brace yourself to be murdered by a monkey. Probably ain’t as bad as it seems. Hell, it’s already happened to three people and they seem fine.
Well, aside from being dead.
And in case you were wondering if these motherfucking monkeys don’t play around, one of the victims was a priest who they stoned to death.
Think on those sins.
Munna Mishra was sweeping the porch of his home when a troop of the creatures began dropping stones onto him from the roof above.
Severely injured, Mr Mishra was rushed to hospital by his family but died a short while later.
Officials in India’s Mirchai Gali region said the “nuisance” monkeys had now killed three people and added that women and children had also been attacked by the creatures brandishing stones.
Villagers in Patna said the animals are causing a lot of distress to families who are afraid of being assaulted by the creatures.
I’d say so. Life is hard as is without worrying about a barrel of murder monkeys popping into your house at any minute, whooping and killing.
According to police, the monkeys are also biters.
Now that’s just overkill.