When the Clinton/Lewinsky sex scandal came to light in 1998, I was too young to know what a blowjob was. I never understood why my father would habitually grab a Budweiser and settle in front of the TV to watch coverage on it, consistently ignoring any and all inquiries my brothers and I had about what the fuck was going on.
Boy, I wish I was old enough to understand the gravity of it. A thirsty 22-year-old intern doming up the 49-year-old married Leader of the Free World would make for content that would pay my bills for months to come.
But now, thanks to the Secret Service agent who stood guard outside Bill Clinton’s Oval Office, we have intricate, juicy details that my father failed to clear up close to 20 years ago.
In his new book Crisis of Character: A White House Secret Service Officer Discloses His Firsthand Experience with Hillary, Bill, and How They Operate, Gary Byrne revealed just how thirsty Monica was for that Presidential D, and just how reckless Clinton was to get his hog wet.
Byrne’s writes, via Daily Mail,
‘Monica hung around us batting her eyes until she overheard the president’s position or direction of travel, then bolted to maneuver into his path. She lived for even his passing glance.’
When dogging the President down off-limit hallways, she had a playbook of lame excuses, he writes:
‘I’m just here to use the bathroom; You mean I have to walk all the way around?; They asked me to deliver something here; I’m just here to see a friend’; were only a few.
Byrne reveals that Monica’s relentlessness did not go unrewarded, as all SS agents reportedly witnessed Bill and Monica ’embracing, making out, or on the Oval Office Desk.’
On one occasion, after Clinton sighted her, ‘she turned back to ensure she had his attention – and flipped up her black-and-white print dress to reveal her blue thong’.
Clinton laughed and said, ‘Hey, there!’
Byrne said that he was utterly infuriated with the President and his mistress after the President gave Monica access to his direct line, which requires a ‘secret number’ – ‘so secret that it required not only a four-digit pass code but a rhythmically coded one’.
Byrne then approached the Deputy Chief of Staff Evelyn Lieberman and asked that Monica be removed from the West Wing, only to have Clinton pull some strings and make her a paid presidential staffer.
Monica confessed to her confidante, Linda Tripp, that she had given Clinton head in the Oval Office while he talked on the phone with ambassadors and other dignitaries, even telling Tripp her blue dress was stained with his baby batter.
The White House stewards were reportedly the ones to first find the evidence of Clinton’s sexual promiscuity. Byrne revealed that one of the stewards, Steward Nel, was on the front lines of the scandal.
‘He’d been finding and cleaning semen and lipstick-stained towels for weeks.
‘If the stains didn’t rinse out, he’d carefully remove them by hand’ – hand washing them himself.
But that wasn’t Monica’s lipstick stain on the towels. She didn’t wear that color.
‘I believed that this particular lipstick belonged to the current West Wing receptionist. I just knew it.’
Byrne guessed the receptionist wasn’t wiping her mouth on the towels. The president was wiping semen and lipstick off of his penis.
Byrne doesn’t place the majority of the blame on the relentlessness of Lewinsky, he assigns the blame to a President who should have exercised just a little bit of judgment.
‘President Clinton paid for a White House mistress with taxpayer funds and jeopardized national security with her compromising and corruptible presence in a secure area, all for little more than on-demand oral sex.
As Hillary attempts to take over the Oval Office her husband once used as a glorified brothel, one can only guess what Monica’s message to the former First Lady is…