I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Killer Robot Jellyfish And Its Giant Glowing Gonads

new jellyfish gonads

NOAA scientists discovered this jellyfish that looks like a robot, has glowing gonads in its head, and is considered an “ambush predator”, two miles under the ocean’s surface on the Engima Seamount in the Marianas Trench, yet both HuffPo and Business Insider decided to use soft, trance-like music to serve as the soundtrack to this killing machine’s hype video…

“Scientists recently identified a new type of jellyfish while exploring the Marina Trench, one of the deepest ocean trenches on the planet, and managed to capture footage of the tiny jelly.”

“Scientists discovered this surreal and beautiful jellyfish more than two miles under the ocean.”

Guys, never has there ever been a better chance to throw in some death metal or hardcore gangster rap into a wildlife video. Believe or leave it, but the jellyfish is more dangerous than a shark. Okay, the box jellyfish is. Yeah, sure, Steve-O wore one as a hat, but Steve-O is BFFs with the Grim Reaper. Behold the hellfire of the jelly as this scientist injecting the venom from a box jellyfish into a neurologically dead toad’s heart.

Anybody who’s seen Seven Pounds with Will Smith and Rosario Dawson knows how powerful this box jellyfish is. That thing will turn you into a SPOILER ALERT organ donor in the most devastating way. Most people think jellyfish are just breast implants come to life, but you don’t have to pee on someone that’s been bit by a fake titty. Oh, and if you’re wondering if that lady you lust on has fake boobs, here’s a cool trick you can do with your phone to see what’s what.