Revolutionary New Poll Concludes Americans Enjoy Beer

Well, everything I thought I knew just got flipped on its head. According to a Gallup poll, 41% of American drinkers say they usually drink beer, compared to the 31% who said their go-to is wine, and the 23% who like to guzzle down liquor aka alcoholics.

It’s the biggest gap between beer and wine in six years. Beer is really firing on all cylinders these days. I believe three things account for beer’s dazzling rise to favor. The classic movie Beerfest, this picture, and this Anna Kendrick Newcastle ad.  I remember an era before those things, and whenever you would bring up beer to people, most of the time you would either a) be met with people scratching their heads about what beer was, b) get called gay. I’m really happy to see that beer has finally been accepted into the mainstream.

Things get a little different when you break it down by gender, as half of women choose wine as their go-to drink, while only 17% of men choose wine over other alcoholic drinks (57% opt for beer). Down with wine! Down with wine! I’m on an anti-wine movement. It makes me sleepy and I don’t understand wine culture, so I like to lash out at things I don’t understand.

The poll also concluded that 64% of drinking-age Americans drink alcohol, up from 60% a year ago. YES! Our country is becoming more dependent on alcohol! So begins our gradual yet meteoric spiral downward!! If you’re at work, read that stat out loud and then high-five whoever is next to you; your boss, a janitor, your work nemesis, doesn’t matter who. It’s kinda messed up that all the Obama-naysayers love to fling around depressing stats like unemployment and infant mortality rates, when big strides like this go uncelebrated. Weak.

[H/T Time]