The Hottest New Tinder Pick Up Line Involves Promising A Perverse Sex Move, Is Apparently Working Like Aces

I recently wrote about a study that said confidence was detrimental for young men to have when it came to online dating.

Apparently, that doesn’t extend to talking about your prowess in the bedroom. Because some males are now dropping a hot new pick up line that’s a strange combination of mopey and sexually confident, sadly alluding to being a nice, caring dude while also boasting about your ability to make women ejaculate fluid everywhere.

It’s like, Ron Jeremy meets Michael Cera.

It’s called the Apocalypse Opener, for reasons un-fucking-beknownst, and according to dudes who are so desperate for sex they’ll do and say anything, it’s working like aces.

It reads as such.

“Hey, I know this is kinda weird and pushy haha, but would you like to have sex with me? I’m not a creep or a pervert, just a genuine guy. I would treat you with respect and the sex would be good. I can even make you squirt if the connection is right haha. I will not judge you or think you’re “easy”. So yeah, excuse me if I come across as a little uncalibrated but I think you’re attractive, so what do you think? 🙂 Haha”


Hey there, I’m sad and can’t get laid, would you please have sex with me? I can give you a face-melting orgasm though, I swear. Also, I’m cool, and I know this is weird lol.

It’s the brainchild, of course, of two Pick Up Artist named Max and Jeffy. Would you fuck these two dudes?

Unsurpringly, they say in a video, the idea behind the pick up line was seeing how far they could push girls on Tinder. Real good, mature, adult male stuff.

It’s worked for men who used it.

However, now it’s being spotted by ladies all over, who are appalled by it.

That’s the problem with these things. It’s not because of the squirting. Hell, if you think you can do it, go for it. It’s because copying and pasting a pick up line from the internet is lazy, and being lazy when trying to interact with another human is rude. Be your own original, squirt-confident male. Come up with your own squirt-confident lines.

That is, if you can do it.

Because if you use this, and she does come over, and you can’t make it happen, I don’t think the caveat in there “if the conditions are right,” will be much of a comfort to her.

“The website said I could make you squirt. I dunno what happened.”

You promise the good, you gotta deliver.

[Via BuzzFeed]