Astonished New Yorkers Have Discovered Soup Is Good In The Winter

Last weekend, after coming back to New York from an extended holiday stay in D.C., I went straight to the grocery store. I’d been dealing with a head cold for two weeks, one exacerbated by being home and having to go out and see people every single night.

And getting drunk, but that’s aside from the point. The point is I was sick and I knew just what I needed to rectify that problem. I picked up a whole chicken, some carrots, two turnips, celery, an onion and garlic and threw them in a pot.

What I was doing is colloquially known as making soup. Soup is, I believe, one of the two oldest forms of food in existence, the other being “not soup.” It’s known for its restorative and healing powers, as well as just being an enjoyable thing to eat when it’s cold out because soup is hot, which is the opposite of cold.

I feel a little ridiculous telling you all this, for you are a human person, and therefore, you know soup is good. What you aren’t is a New Yorker, a type of human being so self-centered they can’t acknowledge basic realities of the world without willingly shilling out $10 a pop to learn them.

Last week, they made an astonishing discovery. Soup is good for you! From the New York Post.

Beauty creams and Flywheel are all well and good, but a growing contingency of sleek-bodied New Yorkers insist that the secret to good looks is all about the bones, as in broth. In November, chef Marco Canora opened Brodo — a teeny-tiny take-away window at his East Village Italian restaurant Hearth, serving only steaming stock. The fashionable masses have been flocking for cups of the stuff, and paying from $4 to $9 for it.

Low in sodium but rich in collagen, and boasting alleged benefits from shinier hair to dewier complexions, broth is the new black for health- and beauty-conscious types across the city.

Another word for broth is soup, for they are the same thing. Would you like to know how this magical concoction is crafted?

Created from boiling down various animal bones to create a nutrient-rich stock, the mainstays of the Brodo menu include Hearth broth (a combination of turkey, chicken and beef), organic chicken and gingered beef. From there, patrons can customize their beverage with 75-cent add-ins, such as Calabrian chili oil or shiitake mushroom tea, to create layered flavor profiles.

Sure, sure. Spicy food is also an excellent addition to your diet when winter hits.

Hey, did you know that all types of people eat soup?

“We get a lot of people who are already onboard with gut wellness, a lot of SoulCycle types and a lot of beautiful women,” says Canora. “Two of the biggest things in bone broth are collagen and gelatin, and both are really good for hair and nails and skin.”

But what about people who have forgotten how good soup is? Can soup bring back them back to soup?

Fashion model and founder of the online journal, Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, is one such leggy loyal.

“I was already familiar with broths because it’s the base of a lot of Italian recipes, but it wasn’t until Canora’s Brodo that I reconnected with how good and satisfying it can be,” says Wiedemann, 31. “I like the taste, but if it gives me flowing locks and glowing skin, then that’s a bonus!”

“I was already familiar with broths” is something an adult said. Then this adult told another adult how she “reconnected” with soup.

Actress and model Lauren Bonner, 23, was inspired to try bone broth after a personal trainer told her about its beauty-boosting abilities. And Ali Hanrahan, 25, decided check out to Brodo after reading about it in a fashion news blast.

“My boyfriend and I were talking about how cool it sounded and I just really wanted to try it,” says Hanrahan, who is launching a vintage clothing start-up called Goldnix.

Let’s try replacing the pronoun in that sentence with the actual noun. “My boyfriend and I were talking about how cool soup sounded and I just really wanted to try it,” it now reads.

Because New York is terrible, you can get your soup delivered to you.

A handful of startup broth delivery services have also emerged over the last year to bring the brew right to your door. Bone Deep & Harmony offers a monthly service ($162) that home delivers 3 quarts of broth per week, while the Oliver Weston Company sells 16-ounce and 32-ounce containers of the nourishing liquid beginning at $7 per jar.

God, this town is awful. MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING SOUP PEOPLE. It’s so damn easy.