In ‘What Is This World Coming To’ News, Diet Whiskey Is Now Available

What in tarnation is this abortion of all that is heavenly good? You make a diet version of cranberry juice, fine. You make a diet version of Dr. Pepper, I can deal with it. But the moment you take something so American and so beloved by men for generations and you mutate it into some diet monstrosity, we are going to have some words.

We’ve already seen the alcohol market get inundated with skinny spirits and low calorie cocktails to accommodate the growing number of female consumers who want healthier options in hard liquor. We’ve seen vodka as the first casualty of the diet liquor boon. But we all know what clear alcohol is for.

A company called Sinfully Thinn is offering a low-calorie whiskey. The spirit comes in plain, cinnamon or blueberry flavors.

The audacity to do this to a cherished amber spirit such as whiskey. The craziest part is that this “light” whiskey has more calories than regular, delicious whiskey! One shot of this so-called light whiskey has 100 calories, while in the same shot of Jack Daniels has only 97.5!

You don’t daintily sip whiskey before you go to your spin class. Aged whiskey is carefully drank on the rocks as you embalm your soul and liver in all it’s glory until it lifts your spirits or you pass out at the bar.