North Carolina School Board Rewards Smartest Kids By Taking Away The Only Thing That Matters To Them

Valedictorian banned

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The North Carolina school board wants high school students to work incredibly hard and strive to be the top person, academically, in their graduating class. Just don’t expect them to acknowledge the feat.

Citing what it calls “unhealthy” competition among students, the Wake County school board is the latest in the country to make valedictorians and salutatorians a thing of the past, The News & Observer of Charlotte reports.

The school board unanimously gave initial approval last week to a policy that would prohibit high school principals from naming valedictorians and salutatorians – titles reserved for the two graduating seniors with the highest grade-point averages – after 2018, according to the newspaper.

“We have heard from many, many schools that the competition has become very unhealthy,” school board Chairman Tom Benton told the paper.

Ugh, totally unhealthy, trying to be the best and all. It’s so much better if kids just kinda try to be the top of the class. In fact, don’t try at all kids. Just do what you can. It will all work out. Life is fair and you’ll get everything you’ve ever dreams of by wishing and hoping.

But school officials say singling out two people for their grade point averages just encourages students to take easy classes and to not help their classmates study.

Absolutely. It’s totally up to the smartest kids in class to help the dumber kids. It’s not the job of the teachers, counselors, parents or tutors to help kids explain calculus BECAUSE THEY CAN’T. It’s on the shoulders of the smart kids to help others.

I can’t tell you how many times the CEO of a company stops by the offices of the bottom level staffers and goes “Hey you guys need help with your work because I’m done mine for today!”

Wait, I can count the number of times, because I know how to count to FUCKING NEVER HAPPENS.

[via Fox News]