North Korea Releases Video Of The Crime A UVA Student Committed That Earned Him 15 Years Hard Labor

Yesterday, we brought you the baffling news of a 21-year-old undergraduate at the University of Virginia being sentenced to 15 years hard labor in North Korea for stealing a fucking propaganda sign with Kim Jong-Il’s name on it that was located in a restricted part of Yanggakdo International Hotel.

The sign read: ‘Let’s arm ourselves strongly with Kim Jong-il patriotism!’

On February 29, Otto Warmbier, a seemingly innocent-minded bro, went on live television to “confess” to the crime. The details of the confession were quite bizarre, which led many to believe that Warmbier was force-fed what to say by North Korean officials. For example, at one point, Warmbier claims that he practiced stealing signs in America to prepare himself to commit this “pre-meditated” crime in North Korea. Which is fucking ludicrous.

Are you guys ready to see this heinous crime. Hide the women and children.


The White House has deemed the sentence ‘unduly harsh’, and is demanding the student’s ‘immediate release’ citing humanitarian grounds. America does not have diplomatic relations with North Korea’s DPRK and is represented by the Swedish Embassy.

According to Metro, when Warmbier was being escorted out of the court room in handcuffs, he could be heard urging the Swedish ambassador to “keep working on the case.”

[h/t Metro]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.