North Korea Threatens Preemptive Nuclear Attacks On U.S. And South Korea *yawn*

When we last checked in on North Korea they were doing very North Korean-like activities like blabbing to the world how they were ready to blow everyone up with their super awesome hydrogen bombs. The communist nation’s dictator Kim Jong-un said, “Nuclear warheads need to be ready for use at any time.” Now North Korea is talking out of their ass once again by threatened “indiscriminate” nuclear strikes on the U.S. and South Korea.

“We will launch an all-out offensive to decisively counter the U.S. and its followers’ hysteric[al} nuclear war moves,” state-run North Korean KRT news channel said. North Korea has their panties stuck so far up their cooch because the United States and South Korea started huge joint military exercises on Monday.

Approximately 17,000 American forces and 300,000 South Korean personnel (More than a third more participants than last year’s drills) will engage in 11 days of computer-simulated training called “Key Resolve,” and eight weeks of field exercises called “Foal Eagle,” which will involve ground, air, naval and Special Operations services.

The strategy that they will practice was devised last year and is called “OPLAN 5015.” The exercises will practice surgical strikes against North Korea’s nuclear weapons and missile facilities. Meanwhile, special forces would conduct “decapitation” raids to take out the North Korean leadership.

The U.S. and South Korea practice these war games annually to combat against a possible invasion by North Korea since they’re always shit-talking. During last year’s drills, Pyongyang threatened to turn Washington into a “sea of fire.”

If this sounds familiar, it’s because North Korea spouts off all the time, yet never backs up their tough talk. They’re kind of like the Kanye West of nations. Here is a nearly identical threat from 2013 after the U.N. Security Council passed sanctions aimed at hurting North Korea’s financial transactions.

“Now that the U.S. is set to light a fuse for a nuclear war, the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK will exercise the right to a pre-emptive nuclear attack to destroy the strongholds of the aggressors and to defend the supreme interests of the country,”

They guaranteed much of the same unreasonable and hollow threats back in 2013. North Korea promised an “all-out war,” a spokesman for the North Korean military said, “The Korean Armistice Agreement is to be scrapped completely just from today,” they’ve threatened the U.S. with nuclear attacks, they tore up nonaggression pacts with South Korea, they entered a “state of war” with the South and called the mainland in United States a “boiled pumpkin” that was vulnerable to attack and even unveiled plans to wipe out Hawaii, Washington, D.C., Austin, Texas and Los Angeles, California. Damn. Hope they wait til after SXSW.

The North Korean leadership doesn’t treat anyone with an ounce of respect. Not only do they hate everyone except for China, but they are really giant dicks to their citizens by starving them, forcing them into labor camps because they didn’t cry hard enough after the death of Kim Jong-un’s daddy, Kim Jong-il, and hiding the deplorable conditions to foreigners.

They even lie about making hangover-free alcohol. The audacity of this jerkoff.