Is This The Greatest, Most Offensive, Soul-Crushing, Hilarious Pizza Story Of All-Time?

When you pick up a piping hot pizza, you will hold that scorching box perfectly straight despite the pain because you know one tilt of the wrist will result in all that gooey cheese sliding to one slide, and de-cheesing one half of the delectable pizza. Then once you get the pizza into your car, you delicately handle that pizza like it was a landmine with an extremely sensitive trigger. You cautiously place the cheesy delicacy on your car seat, manipulating the box, making sure it is precisely level. Finally, you get home and pour all of your focus on not tripping and dropping your precious dinner in the driveway. However, there is one abominable barbarian who does not subscribe to babying his pizza.

Joewen Wilson worked at the Original Philadelphia Style Pizza & Subs for five years. He shared a stomach-churning, soul-crushing story of a regular customer who did not take care of his carry-out pizza. Joewen brought the light to this grim monster during an epic tweetstorm that highlighted the rapscallion’s irresponsible actions that were downright deplorable.

This is one hell of a tale that is a roller coaster of emotions. At first there’s curiosity, then anger, followed by sorrow, then rage and finally hilarity.

Trigger Warning: The following contains graphic details that some pizza enthusiasts may find disturbing.

Joewen even presented illustrations of the savagery.

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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