PETA Created Their Own Version Of ‘Pokemon Go’ Because Sure, Let’s Just Let Them Ruin Everything

The first time I really had an intimate experience with PETA, I was 11. I was at a steakhouse with my dad and these two topless women rushed in with signs and threw ketchup at the bartender. They were topless because apparently some places make clothes by killing animals. They threw ketchup to simulate the blood of the animals that the steakhouse had killed so we could eat. Since I was young, I didn’t really understand what was going on and was more interested in the tits that were bouncing around like a couple of balloons.

Since that experience, I’ve had a quite a few more run ins with PETA. Once I was in a deli when PETA stormed in and just threw a pile of pictures of dead animals up in the air and ran out. Another time I went to a food festival and they were standing at the entrance yelling at me for “Eating the next generation of the animal kingdom.” So I’m going to be honest, I don’t like PETA. They always ruin things for me. I’m just a guy out here trying to eat some meat and pack on my winter pounds and these people keep trying to ruin that for me. It’s not like I’m eat dogs or cats. I’m eating chicken, pigs and cows. Let’s be honest, what the fuck are those three animals going to do if I spare their lives? Nothing. Chickens are the dumbest animals on the face of the planet. And what, we want wild fucking cows running around the streets of suburban America? Fuck that.

But, alas, PETA has decided that they have no issues in continuing to try and ruin everything in hopes that people will just stop eating meat so they will go away. Today’s target? Pokemon Go.

Via Salon:

“In an apparent response to Pokémon Go, PETA has partnered with Smiths singer Morrissey to roll out “This Beautiful Creature Must Die,” its altruistic, low-res answer to the popular mobile app.
The Smiths’ 1985 song, “Meat Is Murder,” plays in the background as the user swipes across four panels of chickens, pigs, turkeys, and cows to “save” them from slaughter. Don’t ignite any bombs, though, or you’ve caused “death for no reason,” and thus lost.
“This game is the biggest social crusade of all, as we safeguard the weak and helpless from violent human aggression,” Morrissey explained in a statement through PETA. “You don’t get that from Pokémon Go.””

I literally threw up in my mouth reading that. Leave me alone. I just want to be able to enjoy my barbecue in peace. Don’t shove a pop-up game down my throat. Listen, you can play the game here, but please don’t. I wrote this article to warn you guys. Eat your meat, don’t let someone else beat you with guilt about it.