A Philadelphia Man In A Randall Cunningham Jersey Killed That Stupid hitchBOT Robot Everyone Won’t Shut Up About
There’s a good chance your Facebook and Twitter feeds are inuindated with “news” about a robot that we destroyed in Philadelphia. Geeks who fear the inevitable robot apocalypse is in a tizzy over “hitchBOT,” a robot that was hitchhiking across the United States. It met its untimely end on a street in Philadelphia when a douche in a #12 Randall Cunningham jersey destroyed it. This officially makes it the most Philly-tastic thing in existence.
It mission was to “to see how humans would interact with hitchBOT” (lol!), as Gizmodo puts it, and had previously hitched around Canada and Germany. Here’s the official announcement from the people who built it:
hitchBOT’s trip came to an end last night in Philadelphia after having spent a little over two weeks hitchhiking and visiting sites in Boston, Salem, Gloucester, Marblehead, and New York City. Unfortunately, hitchBOT was vandalized overnight in Philadelphia; sometimes bad things happen to good robots. We know that many of hitchBOT’s fans will be disappointed, but we want them to be assured that this great experiment is not over. For now we will focus on the question “what can be learned from this?” and explore future adventures for robots and humans.
Vlogger Jesse Wellen obtained video of said robot killer causing hitchBOT to meet its maker. If human-on-robot violence is unsettling to you, don’t watch this video.
— ㄣ⃒ (@FaZeRainCan720) August 3, 2015
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsSome may call this act of violence vandalism. Personally, I stand with Brian Hickey. This Randall Cunningham Bro was a patriot fulfilling his patriotic duty in America’s most patriotic city. Robot lives don’t matter. Hitchbot was a fraud who probably would have had robot babies that would probably get kicked out of art school and grow into evil robot overlords years from now. Fear the machines.
May this incident now forever stand as immortalized in Philadelphia lore as the time we threw snowballs at Santa Claus.