Life

A Mobile Phone Battery Is Stabbed With A Knife And Results Indicate The Phone Battery Is Pissed Off

#Explosions
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I haven’t seen anything blow up that intensely since the men’s bathroom after we ordered Indian food in the office.

This is what I’m tempted to do every time I wake up in the morning hungover and go through the painful process of looking at the text messages I sent the night before. These are the top 5 most frequently sent messages:

  1. YoU uP, grrLLL?
  2. I stILL Think AB0!ut You EvEnn ttho We broke Up in highf schoooOL
  3. yO BRiO im ususally not GayY Buit I;d B DowN
  4. gOT WEEEEEEEEEED?!
  5. My contention is, a comprehensive debt reduction plan could inversely affect the growth of inflation rates, interest rates, and unemployment rates. I’m blacked out.

So if any of you are trying to reach me (unlikely), you can contact me via my MySpace page or via AIM Instant messenger. I’m going to blow some shit up.

Via Unilad

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.
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