Xavier University Has Put The First Ever Pizza ATM Machine In One Of Their Residence Halls
I’ve always been kind of afraid that the machines will eventually take over. It’s probably a result of getting stoned and watching the Terminator movies while shoveling cold pizza in my mouth hole during college. And, despite my own fears, I have found myself working solely on a computer and completely at the mercy of said machine. So I’m still pretty sure that the machines will eventually take over, I just hope I’m dead by that point. The plus side of existing in a human society that is slowly marching towards its own apocalyptic fate is all the cool new toys we get that also are slowly taking away our human independence. Like a pizza ATM.
“The university put a Pizza ATM in one of its residence halls that serves up a fresh, restaurant-quality pizza in minutes. And it’s open 24-7.
“We were looking for a way to solve this problem of having a late-night pizza option on campus,” Assistant Vice President Jude Kiah said. “And this meets our students where they’re at, in their residence hall.”
He said this pizza vending machine was a cost-effective and innovative way to make students happy and satisfy their cravings.
“And we like the idea of being first and innovative and trying something new,” Kiah said. “There’s one Pizza ATM in the U.S. and this is it.”
Late night pizza is a staple of college life and with this hot commodity, Fenwick Place residence hall might be the most popular place on campus this fall. Xavier’s dining service makes hundreds of artisan pizzas every day and 70 of them will go into this machine at a time. Customers simply walk up to the machine and select which type of pizza they want. They’ll have a few options to choose from, including pepperoni, cheese and veggie, but those will vary based on what’s popular. The machine takes the pizza they select from a refrigerated compartment and lifts it into a convection oven. After about three minutes, the pizza is done cooking and the machine drops it into a box that is then delivered through a slot and into the hands of the hungry student. The medium size pizza is about 12 inches and costs $9. When the machine is getting low, employees are notified through their phones and can refill the machine as soon as it’s empty.”
I mean, I’ll be honest, I’ll become a slave to the robots if I can get hot pizza as quickly as I can get cold, hard cash. That’s a no-brainer. Especially if this is just the tip of the iceberg. What are we going to get next? Gourmet meal ATMs? Hot girl ATMs? Ways to make your parents stop being so disappointed in you ATMs? The possibilities are truly endless. So eat up, bros, because the world may end tomorrow. May as well pay our Four Horsemen before they put us in chains.