I Don’t Love Anything As Much As This Priest Loves The New ‘Star Wars’ Trailer–Including God Herself

I don’t think priests can watch porn, which could explain Father Roderick Vonhögen’s child-like excitement when he watched the trailer for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens for the first time. This is the most fun he’s had on the internet since the release of the Passion of the Christ trailer. I had that same unrestricted joy when I saw my first pair of tits on the internet, but after seeing pretty much every pair at this point, joy has morphed into emotionless desensitivity. Almost a chore at this point.

But I won’t nail Father Rog to the cross for being excessively giddy over the Star Wars trailer because it gave me a nerd boner as well. Oh nevermind, that was a regular boner. I was actually watching a Star Wars-themed gangbang on Pornhub. Ya, I’ve never seen the official trailer.

If you haven’t either, follow along and hopefully we can get as turnt as Father Rog.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.