Russia ‘Accidentally’ ‘Leaks’ ‘Top-Secret’ Plans For Massive Nuclear Torpedo System

Russia haphazardly just revealed their secret plans for a nuclear torpedo system on the state-run Channel One TV channel. During a report about President Vladimir Putin meeting military chiefs in the city of Sochi, they “inadvertently” revealed plans for Russia’s “oceanic multi-purpose Status-6 system.” The Kremlin stated that the plans for the Status-6 should not have appeared on Russian TV news. Of course not. “It’s true some secret data got into the shot, therefore it was subsequently deleted,” said Putin’s spokesman Dmitry Peskov. “In future we will undoubtedly take preventive measures so this does not happen again.”

OOOOOPSIE DAISY! We “accidentally” released classified plans for their long-range nuclear torpedo system on state-run Russian TV. What a goof! What are the chances! Not even a week after the U.S. military is firing off nuclear-capable Trident missiles from submarines off the coast of Los Angeles for the world to see, Russia makes this sanfu and broadcasts their “top-secret” nuclear torpedo program including data, diagrams, illustrations and everything. It also comes only days after the latest GOP Debate where Republican candidates were asked how they would handle Putin’s aggression if they were President of the United States. Several of the candidates stated that they would reactivate the European Interceptor Site (EIS), an anti-ballistic missile defense system in Poland.

The document, which was conveniently in focus, stated that the “oceanic multi-purpose Status-6 system is designed to destroy important economic installations of the enemy in coastal areas and cause guaranteed devastating damage to the country’s territory by creating wide areas of radioactive contamination, rendering them unusable for military, economic or other activity for a long time.”

The diagram states that the massive torpedo’s range is “up to 6,200 miles,” with a depth of trajectory of “up to 3,300-feet.” The torpedo is said to be a “robotic mini-submarine”, traveling at 115 mph, and able to covertly “avoid all acoustic tracking devices and other traps.”

According to Russia’s state-run Rossiiskaya Gazeta:

The destructive power attributed to the new torpedo’s warhead would fit the description of a cobalt bomb. That would be a type of thermonuclear warhead with a layer of cobalt-59, which on detonation would be transmuted into highly radioactive cobalt-60 with a half-life longer than five years. Such a weapon would guarantee that everything living will be killed. There would not even be any survivors in bunkers. A cobalt bomb has never been tested because of the devastating radiation it would unleash.

Classic Vladimir Putin right here. “You wanna start up the anti-missile system on the lands of Eastern Europe, that’s cool. I’ll just build an entire water-based nuclear arsenal on my submarines.” Putin is just clutching the base of his turgid Russian cock and waiving it all around for the world to see right now.