Pansy Child Can’t Handle A Spicy Dorito, School Bans The Chips Entirely
If you are one of those people who believes that kids today are pathetic pussies who wouldn’t last a day in the jungle thanks to the coddling they receive at every step of their childhood, man … prepare to be pissed as you keep reading.
Because while I can accept the banning of dodge ball and Red Rover and the rope climb, and not letting kids call each other cunts or shoot guns, this story is absurd. I mean, what wars are children going to be able to fight if we keep this ish up?
When a kid found a Dorito to be too spicy, the school system banned Doritos.
No. Fucking really. The school banned Doritos. Via the Daily Mail:
A school has banned new crisps which are 10 times hotter than jalapeno chillis after they affected a pupil’s breathing.
Bags of Doritos Roulette contain a mixture of regular crisps and extra-spicy ones which makers boast ‘will leave you close to tears’.
But the George Pindar School in Scarborough, North Yorkshire, has banned the bags from its site after a youngster was taken ill.
A school spokesman said it brought in the ban ‘after an incident with a student where they had experienced some difficulty breathing after eating one’.
Sure, they’re fucking hot, coming in at like 78,000 Scoville, but how the hell else are we supposed to build character? These kids will need to take on Mega-ISIS one day, but they won’t be able to because they’ll whine that their state-issued M-5’s get too hot when they hold the trigger for too long.
Then we’re seriously fucked. Ban Doritos now, caliphate later.
The worst part is this happened in Europe, where they let kids booze and smoke in second grade. So imagine how America will soon react to this.
The world, smdh.