Bros, Science Claims That Smoking Weed Gives You Cotton Vagina

Shit, there’s finally a reason to explain why every girl I’ve hooked up with is dryer than an Arizona summer. Is it because I don’t know how to sex? NOPE. Is it because after two shots of whiskey, my pecker goes to sleep? NOPE. Is it because I haven’t trimmed my pubes since the release of the third Fast and the Furious? NAHHH. It’s because the girls have been getting stoned before hanging out with me!

Vice’s Sophie Saint Thomas spoke with Dr. Julie Holland, author of the wildly popular Moody Bitches: The Truth About the Drugs You’re Taking, the Sleep You’re Missing, the Sex You’re Not Having, and What’s Really Making You Crazy, and they talked about the cotton vagina phenomenon.

Dr. Holland claims that just as allergy medicines dry up your vaginas due to the drying of mucus membranes, pot can have the same effect. Holland continues,

“[Vaginal dryness is] Exactly like dry mouth. It’s the same thing. It’s the drying of the mucus membranes. Now not all pot is going to give you dry mouth, but if you have had a strain that is giving you dry mouth, it will also make you more dry [down there]. In general the thing that makes women dry is the pill. Because there’s all this different mucus that happens throughout your cervical cycle. As Mother Nature designs it, when you’re fertile, you’re wet. But if you’re on the pill, you don’t ovulate; you don’t get that mid-cycle wetness.”

But Dr. Holland doesn’t leave us bros up a dry creek without a paddle. She suggests coconut oil as a lube to offset the dryness caused by toking up, claiming it’s excellent for lubrication and her patients have reported that it’s better than any lube they’ve ever tried. And most importantly, it tastes delicious, SO DON’T BE SHY LADIES.

This is a relief. No longer will I believe women when they ask, “have you ever done this before?” HA, smoke on babe, smoke on.

[H/T Mirror UK]

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