Science Finds That There Are ZERO Long Term Negative Effects From Medical Marijuana And My Back Is Starting To Hurt

Finally, my mom can get off my fucking back about smoking too much weed. YO MOM, HEY MOM, I have science on my side now. Heard of it? Remember, that class that I got a C- in in middle school and you grounded me for trying to change the – to a + with a pen? YA, THAT SCIENCE.

But before I get into the findings, I think it’s only appropriate to be properly prepped.

*Spends 20 minutes opening and closing the fridge hoping a chocolate cake magically appears*

A recent study by McGill University found that there are no proven detrimental effects of medical marijuana when used to treat chronic pain (of everyday life).

The conclusions of the study were published in the Journal of Pain (dude, I’m not stoned I swear, that’s the name of the Journal):

In conclusion, this study suggests that the adverse effects of medical cannabis are modest and comparable quantitatively and qualitatively to prescription cannabinoids. The results suggest that cannabis at average doses of 2.5g/d in current cannabis users may be safe as part of carefully monitored pain management program when conventional treatments have been considered medically inappropriate or inadequate.

I have no idea what that means but it sounds awesome. I’m also stoned. Also, the word ‘cannabinoids’ may be the greatest word in the English language.

Ya’ll tryna get lit again? Word, me too.

*Presses the ‘On Demand’ button on the remote control and watches the thumbnail trailers for 42 minutes before returning to Earth.*

This study’s findings are more than just a positive thing for chronic pain suffers and degenerates like me (and probably you too), it tangentially may reduce the growing pain killer addiction problem that the United States is subtly facing.

As brought to light by our friends over at Uproxx, Between 1991 and 2013, prescriptions for painkillers has increased by 172%. More widespread use of medical marijuana in pain management should lessen the numbers who resort to highly dangerous and addictive opiates.


Hear that, mom?

LOUD and clear.

[h/t Uproxx]