Two years is an eon in the internet age. I can barely remember what videos I posted on BroBible this week (uhh, a monkey and a Rubik’s cube, and maybe a dog (probably a dog)), let alone what was hip and popular back in the early months of 2014.
But I remember the month of January well, because it was when I wrote one of my most popular posts ever on this site, and that was the time I reviewed a bunch of weird Japanese dick pleasurers. Male masturbation toys.
It was called “Hi, My Name Is David, and Last Week I Fucked a Bunch of Japanese Sex Toys.”
It left my parents mortified (I mentioned cocaine a lot), but it did fantastic on the internet.
Times changes, I mature, and I am moving to a studio tomorrow. I don’t want to take the Japanese sex toys with me. I think that would be weird to move one old, cum-stained object to a brand new, not cum-stained apartment (favorite pair of sweatpants excluded).
So I am selling them.
You can see the ad here, of read the text below. Please buy them. Moving is expensive.
My name is David, and two years ago I wrote an article on the internet called “Hi, My Name Is David, And Last Week I Fucked A Bunch Of Japanese Sex Toys.” It went viral. You probably read it, but if not: https://brobible.com/life/article/david-last-week-japanese-sex-toys/
Now, you can own the toy from the epic climax of the piece, the Tenga Flip Hole! How often do you get to own a piece of internet history? You don’t even have to fuck it. You can just put it on a coffee table, and, I don’t know, brag.
“Yea, that’s right. A writer’s dick used to be in that. No, not a famous one. It wasn’t, like, Dan Brown’s dick or something.”
What is there else to say about the Tenga Flip Hole? It’s so fucking big. It’s got its own stand. Oh, and I can confirm it is reusable, as I have used it several times. But not in like two years, so it’s clean, or like, dried out enough at least.
Comes with one kind of hole lotion. I know the article says three. I’m sorry.