Woman Collapses, Is Left ‘Paralyzed’ And Crawling For Help Due To Her Skinny Jeans

Any time I see a dude wearing skinny jeans on the street I have the urge to slap some sense into him. Our ancestors didn’t crawl out of the ocean, turn into apes, and learn to harness the power of fire all so dudes could walk around SoHo in jeans so small they wouldn’t fit on a toddler. The flip side of that is that I’m typically okay with women torturing themselves for the sake of fashion, mostly because I don’t understand why anyone would ever do it and it’s fascinating for me to watch. Enter the woman who was ‘paralyzed’ by her skinny jeans, and had to crawl on her hands and knees to flag down a taxi after her skinny jeans rendered her lower half useless.

The Adelaide Now reports:

The woman was left paralysed in an Adelaide park at night for several hours in the case, documented today in the Journal of Neurology Neurosurgery & Psychiatry under the heading “Fashion Victim”.

The 35-year-old woman’s “skinny jeans” were blamed for her collapse, after she eventually managed to drag herself to a road and flag down a taxi, which rushed her to the Royal Adelaide Hospital — where the vice-like denim had to be cut off her swollen calves.

Squatting in the skinny jeans for a protracted time had damaged muscles and nerve fibres in her legs.

The paper’s authors, Associate Professor Thomas Kimber, Dr Karmen Wai and Professor Philip Thompson of the RAH, said the woman who arrived with severe weakness in both ankles and legs after her horror night.

I can’t help but think about the video our own Brandon Cohen put out last week titled ‘I Wore High Heels For An Entire Day and HOLY JESUS GIRLS ARE MASOCHISTS‘ and wonder why women put their bodies through all sorts of pain in the name of fashion? WHY?!?

Here’s the video of Brandon trying to walk a day in women’s shoes:

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