If you’ve read any of my posts before, you know that I occasionally enjoy making lists. With that in mind, let’s think up a list of a bunch of places that having sex in would be fucking (har) terrible:
1. A thorn bush
2. In a shattered glass factory
3. Any given dumpster
4. Airport bathrooms
5. Your parents’ bed…while they’re in it
But you know what place is worse than all of these? The back of a cop car, which for some reason Travis Husnik and Heather Basten, 33 and 29, somehow managed to overlook while they were bangin’ it out.
A 33-year-old man and 29-year-old woman had sex in a squad car after being pulled over for drunken driving in Oconto County.
Travis Husnik of Luxemburg and Heather Basten of New Franken were being transported in August to the Oconto County Jail when they started having sex in a squad car. The deputy stopped the car, told Husnik to pull his pants back up, then put Husnik in the front seat.
Husnik was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and disorderly conduct in connection to the Aug. 3 incident. The same charges were filed against Basten, who was driving the car which was stopped by a deputy just north of Gillett.
“What do I sentence a guy who has sex in squad car to?” asked County Circuit Court Judge Jay Conley during the recent sentencing in the case.
“I’m getting to be pretty old guy and I’ve never seen that situation in my legal life. It’s not like you have a lot of law school courses or training on what do you sentence a guy who has sex in a squad car to.”
Out of all the times when you should probably shut the fuck up and keep your head down, being transported to jail in the back of a squad car is one of them…unless you wanna potentially add more time to your sentence, of course. Brilliance at its finest over here.
And no, the irony of Amanda Bynes being in this gif does not escape me.
[H/T Green Bay Press Gazette, image via NY Daily News]