Politicians are crazy. Easiest statement I’ve made in a long time. Whether you’re Republican or Democratic, more than likely you’ve voted for someone who had batshit crazy ideas about the world. Because everyone who runs for office has some kind of kooky personal agenda whether they’re left or right. I lean left because I like sex and gays and birth control, but I was pretty pissed when I couldn’t keep my health insurance OR doctor for that matter. So basically, I don’t vote because I don’t believe anyone who is crazy enough to run for office really has a fucking clue how to make the world a better place.
Case in point: the Michele Bachmann’s of the world. The Sarah Palins. Ted Cruz. Howard Dean. John Edwards (not the psychic, unfortunately. Why doesn’t he run?). Marion Barry. These people all had the power to govern over other people. Can you contemplate how terrifying that is? Half of them think women were created from the rib of a dude named Adam. I’ve had more rational thoughts when I was fucked up out of my mind. Yet they’re the ones making laws? My God.
And now, I bring you Mike Dickinson, newest member of the “what the fuck did that guy just say?” club of political asshats. He is the politician offering $100,000 to anyone with nudes or a sex tape of Texas Tech cheerleader/big game hunter Kendall Jones.
Apparently trying to start his own left-wing version of the Tea Party, dude is running for Congress in Virginia. First off, good luck there Bro. Second, let’s just give you examples of this guy’s political positions.
“He will focus on fixing our economy and providing opportunities for the people of the district. He will ensure that our schools have the resources they need to ensure that the next generation has the same opportunities he had. He will fight for a fair minimum wage so an honest day’s work brings an honest day’s pay.”
Okay he sounds reasonable. Right?
“As a restaurant management consultant, Mike learned firsthand about the challenges facing small businesses.”
Oh forget it, dude worked in restaurant shit. Take it from me, anyone who works in a restaurant (like I do) is a crazy person. Just depends on what level of crazy. I’m about a 4. He’s about an 11.
How do I know this? Because recently, after teen Kendall Jones shot some animals like jaguars and lions and posted pics with their carcasses like most women post selfies, Mike Dickinson went on a completely ape shit bender to destroy Jones by offering $100k for naked photos or a sex tape of Jones.
Look, I don’t dig hunting for fun. I eat meat and shit but killing Simba and posing in pics smiling like you just won Greek Week with the lion’s dead body freaks me the fuck out. And I think people who find enjoyment in shooting a wild animal from the safety of a truck with a gun have their own bag of issues.
However, as someone who is vocal about the rights of women to have sex without shame and enjoy their sex lives without embarrassment or the fear of being “ruined” if people ever found out about it, this guy can go fuck himself.
This guy is clearly disturbed. I get not supporting the killing of Simbas. I get not agreeing with the people who DO support it. And it’s not surprising a lot of them are on the conservative side of the spectrum. But does this guy not have some kind of a political advisor? Or is he just on some Forrest Gump feather type ride of a campaign? Because guy is on an Amanda Bynes type spiral of Twitter self implosion.
Because what better way to embarrass and shame a 19-year-old woman you don’t agree with than getting hold of pictures of her body, or private sex tapes, or finding out what she likes to do in the bedroom and sharing it with the world and acting like she is a bad person because of THAT? Because women should be ashamed of sex, didn’t you know? We should be ashamed of pics we might have sent dudes of our boobs and butts. We should be embarrassed if we liked to be spanked or choked or pinned down. You give blowjobs? God what a horrible fucking person you must be. Let’s have sex with women and then tell them they’re awful people for having sex! The same sex we were having WITH THEM, but we have penises so we’re not sluts or whores and we can’t be embarrassed.
Look, I don’t do the hunting thing, I think it’s gross and kind of fucked up and I associate people who ENJOY killing animals for fun with people who will eventually enjoy killing people for fun, but different strokes man. And if I ever wanted to shame this chick or call her out, I’d call her out for hunting Mufasa, not for having sex. Should people be ashamed of hunting? Meh, depends on who you ask. Should women be ashamed of fucking? I dunno, are guys? No? Okay then you just answered the question.
Here’s the deal Mike Dickinson. You want to act like anything this girl has done sexually is something you can exploit to embarrass her? Shame her? Make her feel bad about killing animals because you think sharing women for sex is the right way to go? Go fuck yourself.
I am 28, I like to be choked, I’ve been spanked, held down, pinned down. Used toys, sent pics, I give blowjobs, and I’m a good girl with a heathy happy sex life who doesn’t care who knows about it. Because my sex life isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s something to be envied. And trust me when I say I will never, ever be ashamed of it.
No woman’s sex life is something that should be used to shame her. I side with your political buddies because it seemed like they got that more than the GOP. But you sir, are certifiable. I don’t care how much you love Simba, that’s someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, best friend, someone’s girlfriend. She probably has sex. If she doesn’t, she probably will at some point. And what she chooses to do with her own fucking body isn’t some litmus test of how good a person she is. Whether there are naked pictures of her boobs, ass, or other lady bits, doesn’t make her a good person or a bad one. Whether she likes to use toys or have anal isn’t something that she or any woman should ever be ashamed of. And that information should never, EVER, be used to humiliate or lessen a person’s value because what kind of sex someone has, as long as it’s legal and consensual, shouldn’t matter. Who we fuck, how we fuck, and what we look like under our clothes doesn’t define us as people or lessen our worth in society. And go fuck yourself for thinking you can hold a woman’s sex life over her like a threat.
Finally, I give you my own personal reason to loathe this piece of shit. In five tweets, I tore this guy a new asshole (something he probably likes and if I were him, I’d try to use against him). I ended with this thought.
@VoteMike2014 I'll give you naked pics of me without shame to show you how fucked up your campaign to use sex against this girl is.
— Stefanie Williams (@StefWilliams25) July 10, 2014
“”
“@StefWilliams25: I'll give you naked pics of me without shame"
Great DM them I love the fans
— DickinsonForCongress (@VoteMike2014) July 10, 2014
“”
My simple point being no woman should be ashamed of what she does in terms of sex, or her body and images of said body. This scumbag, who probably hasn’t had sex in forty years and probably has an extensive collation of some kind of fetish porn on his computer or a dog and a Costco size container of peanut butter hanging around, changed my tweet to make it look like i was a fan of his opinions.
I say this without one moment of hesitation – I would rather have sex with a vegetable than ever have sex with you, Mike. I’ve sent some ugly guys naked pics before, but trying to insinuate I am a “fan” of yours, let alone one willing to send you naked pics, after I just destroyed you three tweets earlier, is the biggest pussy move I have ever seen in my life, and I just watched a whole lot of the World Cup.
This guy can go fuck himself. And any guy (or girl) like him who thinks the way to challenge a person you don’t agree with is to try to use sex to humiliate them can do the same. I don’t dig that this girl likes to hunt. I find it creepy she smiles about dead animals the same way I smile about that pint of Ben & Jerry’s I forgot I had in the freezer. But to ever assume a woman’s sex life is any more shameful than a guys is fucked up.
Congrats Mike Dickinson, you officially make Sarah Palin look a little bit more normal. And here I thought only heavy doses of anti-depressants and a speech therapist could do that.