The World’s Largest Snake Sausage Fest Is Going Down Right Now, With 75,000 Snake Dudes Tryna Bone Seven Females



See those two snakes up there, fucking?

Yea. That’s some pretty good snake sex, wouldn’t you say? Hot. Passionate. That’s the kind a shit I like.

But those two little lovers’ tryst has nothing on the fucking gonzo orgy going on in Narcisse, Canada, where it’s about to getting fucking slithery and sexy.

Because 75,000 snakes are waking up from hibernation and there’s only one thing on their to-do list.

Snake scrump.

From the New York Times:

Over the winter, snakes seek shelter from below-freezing temperatures in limestone caverns in Manitoba’s Interlake region. They survive on stored fat, and when the weather gets warm, as it is now, they surface.

Thousands of red-sided garter snakes have gradually awakened from an eight-month nap in their subterranean limestone lairs. They tumble about the craggy landscape in tangled knots with a singular focus: reproduction.

But there’s a twist. It’s all DUDE. The odds are worse than anything a fraternity brother has ever experienced. This ain’t twenty dudes to five babes. Not even close.

In this sea of snakes, a female isn’t easy to find, even though she’s three to four times bigger. At times, the ratio of males to females is 10,000 to 1. “Imagine trying to find a slightly bigger piece of spaghetti in a colander of spaghetti, and it’s moving,” Dr. Mason said..

That’s the best description of a sausage fest I’ve ever heard.

For real though.

The closest male wins and leaves a stinky plug inside her that tells others to back off.

Snakes. Just like the rest of us gross broke dudes.

[Via The New York Times]