Starbucks’ Baristas Encouraged To Talk Race With Customers And Twitter Reacts Appropriately

Starting Monday, Starbucks’ baristas will have the option of handing customers their coffee cups with the phrase “Race Together” hand-written on them, which in undoubtedly turn into “Rase Toogethur”, giving the fact that they spell my one-syllable name “M-a-t”.

The program was initiated to “spark customer conversation on the topic of race”, according to Starbucks’ CEO Howard Shultz, as well as to encourage employees in it’s 12,000 locations to pop a Xanax before work.

Shultz continues:

If a customer asks you what this is, try to engage in a discussion that we have problems in this country in regards to race. We believe that we are better than this, and we believe that our country is better than this.

Sounds good in theory, Howie. Let’s see if the world agrees.

Think I may just use the coffee machine at the office. Thanks though.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.