New Wall Street Journal Study Reveals The Biggest Deal Breakers For Girls–And No, It’s Not Your Micropenis
Chicks, man. Such a complex species. There is no true science to deciphering what makes a woman tick or ticked off, it’s basically a lot of trials and a lot of errors. First they tell you they’re impressed by your samurai sword signed by no other than American Idol’s Randy Jackson, and then they use to to try to slice your flesh rocket off when you didn’t text her from your grandfather’s funeral (RIP Papa).
But to think of life without them is like thinking about N’Sync without JT. (Shit, Matt that wasn’t ‘bro,’ try again.) But to think of life without them is like thinking about dinner without a 22 oz. T-bone steak and a Bud Heavy. That’ll do. And SPORTS!
But any and all studies and scientific approaches to understanding women should never be taken for granted by us bros because the more we know, the more we can give, and the less we are subjected to sleeping on the couch for starting a Netflix show without our baes.
The Wall Street Journal did God’s work by researching the biggest deal breakers for men and women alike. The study was structured as follows:
Researchers gave 5,541 single U.S. adults a list of 17 negative personal traits and asked them whether they would consider them deal breakers in a mate in a long-term relationship.
If you guessed the biggest deal breaker for women is ‘nose hairs,’ thank you for reading my post a couple months back which indicated a Men’s Health study revealed nose whiskers are the equivalent of a steel chastity belt for chicks.
But as we are well aware, girls change their minds (see: tonight’s discussion over dinner plans), and the biggest turnoff in WSJ’s study is being disheveled.
I look up every word over two syllables:
Welp, there it is. The explanation for why I’m single–on top of my debilitating fear of commitment, my room looks like it was hit with a missle and I’ve been wearing the same boxers since Monday whattt nvm.
So there it is bros–you want chicks to love you and hang on your every word. Tuck in your shirt, gel your hair, and wear a belt. Being an unconfident, lazy scumbag with no sense of humor is erroneous.
[h/t Wall Street Journal]