Survey Reveals That Daily Weed Smokers Are Having Way More Sex Than You Losers Who Live Above The Influence

Remember your drug dealer Dale? Ya know, the dude with the rat tail who would tell you he was going to roll over in 20 minutes, and shows up in his ’95 Pontiac Grand Am with two missing hub caps after you watched the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy like he hadn’t just ruined your entire day? Ya that fuck. Well. It turns out, he had a good reason to be late–he was slapping skins, bruh.

In conjunction with the upcoming 4/20 holiday, the folks over at SKYN Condoms conducted a Millennial Sex Survey which discovered that daily marijuana smokers tend to have more sex, more sexual partners and more confidence in the sack than non-smokers.

Wait, really?

 

The study found that daily marijuana smokers are much more likely to have lost their virginity at a young age.  8% of daily smokers lost their virginity when they were younger than 12 compared to 2% of those who never smoke. 59% of those who smoke daily lost their virginity when they were 15 or younger compared to 26% of those who never smoke.

Umm, I smoke regularly and I was balls deep in my mom’s Macy’s catalog at 12, people were actually having intercourse? Shit.

Check out some other findings from the survey:

· Daily marijuana smokers have more sex than non-smokers reporting that they have sex “several times per day” (14% vs. 5%).

· Daily marijuana smokers report more sexual partners than those who have never smoked.

• 37% of daily smokers report 15 or more sexual partners compared to 14% of those who have never smoked.

· Daily marijuana smokers have had more one night stands than those who have never smoked (80% vs. 52%).

· Daily marijuana smokers are more confident in the sack than non-smokers. 59% vs. 41% report they are “amazing” or “very good” in bed.

· Marijuana smokers are less likely to use condoms than non-smokers. Only 44% of daily marijuana smokers use condoms compared to 48% of non-smokers.

· Daily marijuana smokers are more likely to use free or paid dating sites than non-smokers (34% vs. 21%).

So what we’ve learned today is that daily weed smokers fuck like roasted rabbits. Or daily weed smokers are fucking liars.

[h/t SKYN Condoms]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.