I Was Planning On Swiping Right To This Cute Tinder Chick, Then I Saw IT

I prefer my Tinder girls not to have a dude slow-stroking his Johnson in the corner of the room. Just preference. I can handle the “not looking for a hookup, just trying to meet new people” bullshit, or even the fake model pic that she made black and white and threw a Spanish dudes signature in the bottom right corner. Babe, Juan Carlo Photography didn’t take this pic, your roommate did. But with all the bullshit that I put up with on Tinder, I draw the line at a dude jerking off in the mirror to a girls lower back tat. And Sierra, that may not even be my biggest issue with you. That room is goddamn despicable. Maybe your boy toy should put down his dick and clean all the shit off that World War II desk. Just poor due diligence from front to back.

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But real talk, Sierra, if that dude is out of the picture, literally and figuratively, hit me up. I meant none of what I just said.

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