Christian University Unveils ’10 Commandments Of The Cafeteria’ And They’re A Bigger Load Of Crap Than Original Commandments

The head of food services at Kentucky Christian University seems to be a guitar god. He’s also a cafeteria god as he’s ruling over the entire school with this video of the 10 Commandments Of The Cafeteria.

Also, isn’t the whole point of Christianity to “love thy neighbor?” It’s not very neighborly to punch a guy because he can’t keep a waffle machine clean or use only one napkin.

And Brad, um, none of the kids at the school actually like you. They’re pretending because they feel sorry for you. I realize you thrash on the guitar and own a different pea green shirt to go with your line of Regis Philben Who Wants To Be A Millionaire ties but the students actually make fun of you when you’re cleaning out the waffle maker.

If you want to impress the flock, turn the Mr. Pib into wine. Then you’ll have true disciples.

H/T 22 Words

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.