Like I’ve said before and I’ll say again, I have a morbid fascination with plastic surgery. The fact that you can change your appearance like a real-life Sim just boggles my mind, and creeping around before & after photos gets my rocks off for some reason. I don’t know, maybe I just like seeing how someone can go from a normal human being into a demented Barbie knockoff, or how someone you might see walking down the street one day can turn his face into an inflated blowup doll version of Kim Kardashian the next. I have a problem, probably, but at least I’m lucky enough to not be Kelsey, a patient featured on the television show Botched who refers to herself as the “Uniboob Queen.” According to In Touch Weekly,
The California native calls herself the “uniboob queen,” after being born with Pectus Excavatum, a condition featuring a concave chest that distorts the rib cage and sternum.
“I was botched at birth,” Kelsey, 25, told cameras.
Most people fuck themselves up after years of dicking around with surgery, but Kelsey? Nope, screwed from birth. Normally I would make fun of her, but this is through no fault of her own so I’m gonna at least try to let her slide this time.
And in case you’re curious, yes — Kelsey was able to get her boobs fixed and no longer has a chest that looks like a bag of melted marshmallows.