This Could Very Well Be The Reason Your Girlfriend Cheats On You, And No, It’s Not Your Pathetic Micropenis

by 2 years ago

Nothing can instill nightmares like the thought of another man porking your girlfriend. Cheating is monogamy’s original sin and the insecurities it spawns in the victim defy the realm of the relationship–it can demolish confidence in all facets of life and affect one’s ability to give themselves fully to future partners. It causes a domino effect of destruction that not even the most unhealthy of couples would wish on the other. So why do we do it? Believe it or not, it’s not because you have a tootsie roll dick and your girlfriend is looking for something she can actually feel. So, you can breathe a sigh of relief on that front, bro.

Most incidents of infidelity are rooted in the imbalance of closeness and distance. Feeling suffocated and overly-invested may lead one to cheat as an act of self-reclaimance. If you’re hovering over your girl every time she tries to take a dump or send a text to her mother, she’s probably going to fuck her personal trainer. If you shun intimacy and refuse to address important issues in your relationship, you’ll likely drive a wedge in between you two, which again, will be filled by her personal trainer. You’ve been warned.

Take it from me. I haven’t been in a relationship in two years and have become somewhat of a connoisseur in masking my emotions and not letting anyone in. Taking relationship advice from me is like taking workout advice from Chris Christie. This was a complete waste of your time.


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