Tucker Max’s New Book Teaches His Insane Reasons Why Women Are Afraid To Sleep With You

by 3 years ago  •  4 Comments


Tucker Max is best known to me (as well as the a lot of the generally decent people who make up most of humanity) as a genuinely horrible person.

Gleefully telling the world the story of how you paid a friend to secretly film you having butt sex with a girl without her consent will earn you that reputation. But he was a male cultural phenomenon in the late 2000s, so it’s no surprise that Bros out there still want to fuck like Tuck (wantonly, without regard for the other person, all while loudly proclaiming you are too big for condoms).

So you might be surprised to learn that these days even Tucker doesn’t want dudes to be like him. Nope. He’s what you call … mature now? I think?

How mature? Tucker’s married with a kid, and that shit changes a dude, because before that happens, it’s completely implausible for someone to know how to be a normal, non-sociopathic member of society. Like, guh, huh? You can’t figure out or infer shit that complicated on your own. Which is why Tucker is here. He wrote a new book designed to teach the uncouth and unlearned Bros of the world how to be better peopl—sorry, get chicks. It’s to teach you to get chicks.

But not in the reductive, bullshit way you might immediately think. This is a different Tucks. Tucks Two Point Oh. According to the jacket, there’s no pick up artistry cons. No cheap seduction tricks, and absolutely, absolutely “no bullshit.” Zero bullshit. It is all, according to Tuck Em, a rational, scientific and analytical approach to dating.

Or it’s bullshit.

Where to start? I could go off on his 17-page tangent about how you need to keep Paleo and reads like a native ad for Crossfit: “High intensity interval training is the ONLY proven way to reduce fat and gain muscle mass” (which, a thousand LOLs to the guy who says he knows how you can get women, then tells you the key is Crossfit), or we could talk about the pseudo-scientific crap he spouts (he teamed up with a REAL DEAL psychologist for the book) which he uses to give his words legitimacy, but fails spectacularly. Sample: “Because of a natural female attraction to certain biological features, whether a woman will be attracted to you is largely in your hands” (Try (TRY!) to parse the contradiction that explicitly states that because women are attracted to certain innate traits like height, you have the power to make her love you, and you’ll get an understanding of how dumb this book is).

But I’d like to focus on one section in particular that struck me as … horrific.

Chapter Four: Understand What It’s Like To Be A Woman.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Let’s see what Tucker Max thinks it’s like to be a woman. Bold words: His; Regular text bashing the inane and outright absurd thoughts and ideas he has: Mine.

To begin with, “Women have evolved to be more complicated than you can understand so they could protect themselves from being seduced, manipulated, and exploited.

They did?

Throughout this [chapter], we’ll focus on understanding women on several levels: [including] why women feel anxious and vulnerable about sexual harassment, stalking, rape, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies and slut shaming.

Are they concerned about that because those are genuinely awful things that happen in the world, or because you, Tucker Max, created a whole identity around those things and exported it to males worldwide, or maybe both.

(P.S. I like how he describes all the terrible things men can do in such a removed fashion, like, “Did you know there is famine in Eritrea?”)

P.S. again, this is still the introduction. On to “WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A WOMAN, per Tucker Max, Author Extraordinaire and noted woman. Wait, I mean, noted not woman. Noted man reviled by women. This should be good.

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