United Airlines Tries To Sit At The Cool Kids’ Table Again By Shamelessly Pandering To The Nuggets Guy
You know those times when your drunk uncle drops a racist joke in mixed company at the BBQ, takes a lap, then comes back and tries to tell you about his black friend? Ya, well your uncle is the living, breathing reincarnation of United Airlines.
Now, I don’t need to remind you of that time they beat the piss out of that dude after they overbooked a flight a few weeks back. If we’re being honest, didn’t have a huge problem with it. The dude’s going to get a one million dollar payout for every drop of blood spilt. Nate Diaz has to go 9 rounds to see that kind of loot. I think I can speak for everyone when I say we would all gladly suffer through a lot worse. Applies lipstick, grabs ankles.
In any event, back to United is trying to enter the social media circle after ripping a fart in the center of it. In a shameless attempt to regain the public’s respect, the airline set it’s sights on Carter Wilkerson, the man who broke the world record for most retweets in his mission to get free chicken nuggets from Wendy’s (3.6 million). Cool, bro.
Back in April, United tried to sit at the cool kids table by offering to fly Carter to whatever Wendy’s he wanted if he got the 18 million retweets.
That offer was lambasted after United assaulted that newly rich guy we talked about earlier.